Diminished Gluteal Syndrome

I missed the VMA’s this year just as I do every year because, like a lot of you, I had better things to do. Unlike many Americans I tend to stay out of obsessive celebrity culture. I don’t care what lettuce Lady Gaga had in her salad this afternoon, I just enjoy her music while I’m grinding my junk on sexy men and pouring cranberry x vodka down my throat. While I was doing just that Sunday night America got all shocked and outraged again, this time about Miley Cyrus’…I guess tantalizing performance of that one song about railing ecstasy, and then rubbing her ass on the white guy who re-released a Marvin Gaye track.

I suppose now would be a good time to amend my previous statement; I do enjoy celebrity culture when I can make fun of them. If enjoying the misfortune of those who open themselves to the global eye is a crime, put me in the stocks and bring a lot of tomatoes.